Mood Swings

Trapped in the hours of the clock I lived life in yesterday Healing scars from the past Allowing them to marr the future Experiences shaped perceptions Of how I viewed life Allowing it to colour The future I imagined The past year however Broke this spell Cast by shadows That hung over me I don't see the future still But not the past either Anxiousness hasn't become trepidation Nor expectations transformed to fear Something inside me Is beginning her new journey Born from this year of time Lived in today She doesn't have answers But to herself she's now kind As she starts a new journey Of leaving the clock behind

A step forward And two behind The words inside my head Were never so kind Doubts and fears are Self-preservation I guess The cacophony in my head Is sometimes a mess The walls in my head And a gilded heart Keeps hurt away Precious protection imparts I peep through the walls To see the world outside Sometimes it gets lonely In a world where only, I reside Introspection on days Gives courage and sight And like Dumbledore said Happiness can be found when you turn on the light

She says she lost it The ability to string beautiful words to meaning It drifted past her Like years of a bygone era Maybe she hid it First because time chased her And again and again Entangled in life’s trappings Maybe she chose to hide Her feelings from scrutiny Protecting her vulnerabilities From monstrous viciousness But its right there Peeking through the shadows Peeping through little corners of her heart Sometimes life inspires her Sometimes it’s a verse Sometimes its silly drawings Or the beauty of the universe She finds them one day Her words that were hiding Just came to her heart Without even finding

Sometimes you soar  Like a bird on bright sunny days  Sometimes you crack  Like dried paint on my aging walls  Sometimes you're elusive Like fireflies in dark nights Sometimes you shine Even through the grey clouds  Sometimes you dry up Parched than the most arid desserts  Sometimes you drain Seeping through the pores of my being  Sometimes you hide In the corners that seem hard to find  But you're always infinite Like the expanse of the universe  You ask nothing in return Hope..it's your flame that always burns. 

We lay under the burdens Of seemingly accurate assumptions Learnt  judgements that lingered  From callous throw aways of people That were only protecting their own short comings We assume and brood And let it drive our lives  For miles and miles  Yearning for someone  That will help us change these misunderstandings We look in the mirror  And find a hundred faults  Hoping one day it'll be perfect Not realising that perfection is subjective To approval from similarly misled people  We look for love  Forgetting to love ourselves Re-enforcing flaws rather than strengths But we will find it by our side The day we learn to love inside.